Hello, all who read this. This is Sage once more, ranting on about the stuff I find important. Today’s topic is mental health of students. Topics such as depression, anxiety, and other mental health issues will be discussed, so please leave if you don’t wish to read any of that. I do find this to be very important since the school doesn’t always understand how hard it is to even function inside of school with such issues being active in students.

The first one I’ll be talking about is depression. Depression, from what I’ve been experiencing since I was little, is a lack of energy to do most tasks people without depression would do on a daily basis. Taking a shower is difficult, not because we’re lazy, but because we suffer from depression. It’s making plans to go do something, but not actually wanting to go. Making friends, but not being able to hang out with them because you are mentally too tired to go out. Depression often brings insomnia and anxiety. They’re like the friends of depression. Something I heard from a podcast called “Button Poetry” (Quoting directly from their speech “Explaining my depression to my mother; a conversation”) was “Anxiety holds me a hostage inside of my house, inside of my head; Mom says “where did anxiety come from? Anxiety is the cousin visiting from out-of-town depression felt obligated to bring to the party; mom I am the party.”

Depression can change form. Again, quoting directly from Button Poetry, the same speech “Depression is a shape-shifter. One day, it is as small as a firefly in the palm of a bear, the next, it’s the bear.” This tells people that some days, it’s not too bad, but others, it’s pretty bad, and that can be a huge challenge for a student. Insomnia is the lack of ability to sleep normally. I have insomnia and have since I was little. It keeps me up at night, and I have to resort to making stories to even try to get a few hours of sleep.

Insomnia is magical, but not in any good way. It sometimes keeps me up for nights on end, because I cannot fall asleep, no matter how hard I try. My body has gotten used to all of the insomnia medication I’ve taken, and I’d end up falling asleep in class because that would be when my medication used to kick in. I don’t take medication anymore. Now I’ll be talking about another thing I suffer from. Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD). This is a mental condition often found in younger children where we get angry easily, and often don’t listen to people of higher authority.

It’s a monster that follows me around 24/7, and I always have to worry about lashing out. I have to physically distance myself from whatever is making me angry, otherwise I will either break down or start yelling. Most parents that I’ve heard talk about their kids with ODD and treat their kids as if they are monsters, or just bad people in general, or that they will never calm down, or be successful in life. And while in some cases, this is true. There are medications for this, but I’ve found that I do better without them, because they can cause worse depression, or more anxiety.

For me, living with ODD was like a ticking bomb that could only be reset by things that make me happy. I have found ways to bottle up my own anger, and as unhealthy as that is, it has worked wonders for me so far. It’s like a dog, as well. It’s not the person who has it who is the bad person, it’s how they’re treated. Like how no dogs are bad, they just have bad owners. A healthy coping mechanism for this would be to punch a pillow or a box. I have a box in my room that I beat up every time I feel myself growing angry at home.

Anxiety, ADHD and depression do not pair well. It’s being afraid of everything, but not having the energy to do anything about it. It’s panicking about how something happened, and then blaming yourself. Thinking “I should do this sometime!” and then thinking “No that’s stupid, and you’re stupid, give up on all of your dreams.” It’s having energy, but having none at all. Having the want to do something you find interesting, and then not doing it because you can’t get out of bed.

Paranoia can come with anxiety and depression, so you’re constantly afraid that something bad will happen, and becoming paranoid, and anxious because you want to do everything in your power to avoid bad things from happening. Lots of people that I have met suffer from depression, anxiety, and other mental issues. I also have an eating disorder, so most of the time I’m either scared to eat, or just cannot find the motivation, or ability to eat food. It has caused me to pass out in classes, at home, and in other public spaces, and thanks to a few teachers, friends, and my grandmother, I have been getting better with eating, but it is still a huge challenge.

Drinking cold water on an empty stomach is the closest I’d even get to relieving the pain my stomach is in due to a lack of food, without actually eating. Lack of food can cause one’s stomach to eat itself, and the body fat that your body needs to survive. Thank you for listening.

-Sage