Hello. Another day, another rant. Today, I will be talking about things that I hate about our government. This is going to cover some serious topics, such as homophobia, transphobia, sexism, shootings, genocide, and other sensitive topics. If you do not wish to read about this stuff, do not read this, as I will be going into detail. There will likely be multiple parts to this, so please bear with me.

Let’s start off with transphobia and homophobia. If you’ve kept yourself updated on the laws, you’ll realize that the government is killing gay people and trans people. They are trying to make us all seem like criminals. And I’m not just saying that because they blame us for a lot of stuff, I’m saying that because they’re killing us all. They claim that this is the land of the free, but this is not freedom. This is genocide, and this is hate. Every day, trans, and gay people kill themselves because the government is making us illegal. Many states have made it illegal to even be gay, or say the word gay or trans inside a school. Children are being forced out of the closet to their transphobic, or homophobic parents, and are either murdered, or they commit suicide.

I have watched as trans and gay people online wither away like they are not important, and they are murdered. They get killed or kill themselves because the world hates them. Schools are being forced to push students out of the closet, and so many of these kids die. Because of this, I was absolutely terrified to come out to my mom and cried because I thought she was going to hurt me in some way. Thankfully, that wasn’t the case with her. When I came out to my biological father, his abuse got worse, and I nearly killed myself because of it.

The government claims to care about the people, but they turn a blind eye, and they ignore our cries for help. This is bringing us all to war with our own country. We are being murdered by the government. If this is the land of the free, then it is only free for straight, white, homophobic men, who try to justify things like rape, sexual assault, and murder. There is no justification for sexual assault or rape. There never was, and there never will be. We are all afraid of the government. All because the government wants only those white, straight, racist, homophobic, transphobic men to rule the country. Not only that, but they claim to be doing good for us, but they have done no such thing. If children are running away, or dying because of what the government is doing, then the government doesn’t actually care.

I have thought of ending my life so many times, and I have ever since childhood. Not only because I was abused, but also because I am scared. I am scared of the government, I am scared of people, I am afraid of men. You cannot say that this isn’t genocide, because it is. I had to deal with so many of my friends attempting suicide, that I can’t even understand how any of them are still alive. This “Land of The Free” is not free. It is a prison, and it does not care.

I have considered running away or dying. I have truly thought about leaving all of my friends and family, just to go find somewhere I might be safe, even just a little bit. Sexism. I know that men and women are both victims of sexism. But in this little bit, I will talk about sexism against women. If all women are to the government baby factories or are just meant to be used and abused, then what does that tell you? There are so many stories about men killing women for just saying “No”, or because they were raped. Children, are being forced to give birth, without the option of an abortion, all because the government thinks that taking out a fetus is “Mutilation”, or “Murder”. In reality, a fetus isn’t even alive. It is just a clump of cells and is not considered a baby until it is born.

Women are being put on death row for having a miscarriage. Or for having an abortion. Children die from giving birth to something that they are. Children. My neighbor (Who is like a mother to me) had to deal with the news that her friend’s boyfriend had killed her for saying no. I have seen news articles, over news articles, saying that women are either murdered by their boyfriends, or just men in general for saying no, and the men only get a few years. Meanwhile, women are being put on death row for defending themselves. Sure, not all men are evil, but by the gods so many of them are.

Even judges are justifying murder, pedophilia, and rape. All because they think women are the problem. My girlfriend’s mom was heavily abused by her husband, and when she passed away, her husband got a new wife within four weeks. This is infuriating. This is why men are scary. This is why whenever I go outside on a walk, or to the store, I bring a form of self defense with me, and I constantly am on guard. I completely avoid men in general, because they scare me. I have had to deal with being afraid of men my whole life, and it all started with my biological father. He thought it was okay to beat me with a belt every time I did something he didn’t like. He took me to where he worked whenever I could, and I was dumb enough to trust him.

After three years of me calling the cops on him, and them never listening, my mom finally called them, and you wanna know what they said when they arrested him? “He doesn’t look like he would do something like that”. That was when I realized that even the cops will justify things like rape, sexual assault, and child abuse. I am a victim of CSA. Child Sexual Abuse. And yet here I am, afraid to tell the cops if I’m being hurt by someone in any way, all because of what they said. When my dad was arrested, I thought I was free from being hurt. I was wrong to believe that.

All throughout middle school, and most of my years in High School, I have been hurt. I was bullied, assaulted, and threatened. And it never stops. Because the government doesn’t care. Even hospitals won’t help me. I have been to the hospital for self-harm, suicidal idealization, and for suicide attempts. All they did was give me a stupid piece of paper, and say “Go over these practices every time you feel like hurting yourself”. It doesn’t help. In fact, it makes things so much worse. Last year, I was driven to the hospital, and I begged them to help me. But they didn’t. They assigned me a “Safety Plan,” and sent me away.

I am tired, I am scared, and I am so close to just leaving my friends and family. I have thought of so many ways to get help, and the most I can do is turn to my daydreams, and hope that maybe one day, I can be happy. But, it’s stupid to think that these days, now isn’t it? I almost lost my mom to suicide. And my stepdad is hard on me because he doesn’t want me to leave. And because of bullying based on my weight, or on my eating habits, I’ve stopped eating at home most of the time, and I only eat when I have low blood sugar, or feel like I’m going to pass out. I have cried, I have bled, and I have begged, all because I want to feel safe. I can’t even remember most of my childhood because my cries for help fell on deaf ears, and the abuse got worse.

Coping mechanisms are often used to forget your trauma, or deal with it, but it only makes my flashbacks worse. I feel each and every flashback. I don’t see them. I feel them. I feel other people’s hands on me, I feel the pain of being struck by my father’s hands, and I am afraid of physical contact. I can’t even have people touch my back, because the feeling never leaves. This is my way of saying how much the government has failed us all. Thank you for your time. Until next time.

Sincerely, Sage.